You may not have ever thought you’d put yourself “out there” like this when it comes to relationships. But in every man’s life, there comes a point where’s he’s gotta ask: Should I try a dating app? (Hint from a career dating coach: Absolutely, 100 percent YES.)Sure, dating apps get a bad rap. Some say they feel mechanical. Lots of people complain that they can really bruise your ego. While that may be partly true, I choose to think of them differently. Dating apps are simply a tool. If you have a bad dating experience, you don’t have to blame it on the technology. Fifty years ago, if you kept getting hung up on by women when you called them for a date, would you blame the telephone? Didn’t think so.
That’s why I always recommend dating apps to my clients. Dating apps don’t have to be your end-all-be-all (after all, you can meet women offline too) but there’s no reason to exclude them from your strategy. Still skeptical? Ok, here’s the honest breakdown. Below is my assessment of why you should try dating apps, especially if you’re searching for a relationship. I’ll also tell you how to minimize the downsides. Reasons Why You Should Try a Dating AppEveryone has their personal reasons why apps help their dating life, but I’ll give you the two biggest reasons why most men (that I know, anyway) end up taking the plunge.You Get Access to Thousands of Women You Won’t Meet on the Streets Have you noticed we’re living more and more in a digital world? In the ‘50s, you were destined to marry someone who lived in the same neighborhood. Why? Because your only options were people you met in person. Today, we’re practically living our lives through our phones. Some of us don’t even see another live human being unless it’s at work or while walking the dog. That makes dating apps your best bet for meeting someone.And here’s the best news: Dating apps give you access to tens of thousands of deeply compatible matches. This provides a unique opportunity to attract a partner who is perfect for you.Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean perfect as in, they have no flaws — but “perfect” in the sense that they are so compatible with you that they totally understand and accept your flaws because they have so much in common with you. You could literally put basket weaving as a hobby on your profile and the algorithms would match you with women who also wrote “basket weaving” on their profile — that’s how specific you can get with it. There’s Really Nothing to Lose I know, I know. You don’t want to be seen on a dating app. What if you come up in your coworker’s search, or see your ex-wife pop up? What if everyone you know sees you on there and assumes you’re too lame to score a date offline? The horror!These are common fears… but they’re unfounded. Dating apps have become one of the main ways people meet these days. In fact, Pew Research found that in 2020, 30 percent of US adults have tried online dating, and 12 percent found committed relationships from it. Not only are those numbers are way too big to ignore, but it shows that most likely, many people you know are using dating apps. The stigma is gone, so if you’re on there, people will hardly raise an eyebrow.
They’re Fairly StraightforwardDoes the whole world of dating apps seem annoying or overwhelming? It doesn’t have to be. Learning from an expert can help you avoid a lot of common dating pitfalls. The real danger is, if you don’t have a targeted strategy, you might not get the number or quality of matches you want. But don’t worry — I can walk you through it. As part of my three-month Signature coaching program, I can help you determine exactly the type of women you want to attract and then set up your profile in a way that helps you match with them easily. My program also helps you craft compelling messages that get women responding. This is key. You don’t want to be like every other guy who just says “hi” or “how is your day going?” because the dating apps are saturated with users. This means the most beautiful women get hundreds of messages each day. But if you have a solid strategy — based on what women think and want you to talk to them about — then you can achieve tremendous success with dating apps. You Can Use Filters to Your AdvantageAs I mentioned before, filters are one of the best things about online dating because they can help you find very particular types of women that share your interests and values. Combine this with any surveys or matching questions the app may give you, and the algorithms can be super powerful in helping you find your dream woman. What used to seem like a pipe dream can actually be reality… dating technology is now that good.So, don’t be afraid to filter for exactly what you want, and see what happens. Bumble, for example, gives you standard filters plus a couple of advanced filters. You can segment away women who are looking for something casual or unsure of what they’re looking for. Is that something you can do at your local pub? I think not.Dating Apps Are Free to UseMany dating apps have a free option, meaning you can search for matches and often even message them for free. This makes them a no-brainer, especially if you’re on a budget.And hey, even if you are watching your spending, you can still upgrade on many apps for a pretty good price. Here’s a quick look at what you’d pay on some of the most popular ones as of this writing:Bumble has a feature called Spotlight, where you can make your profile show up at the top of any search you qualify for. One Spotlight session is 30 minutes long and costs anywhere from $2.50 to $3.60. Obviously, it only works on women who are already logged in and swiping, so be sure to Spotlight at popular times of the day (usually from 6 pm to 8 pm in the fall/winter, and 7 pm to 9 pm during the summer).Tinder offers a package of upgrades called Tinder Plus, which is $4.99 for one month if you’re younger than 29, and $9.99 a month if you’re 30 or older. Among the added features are unlimited likes, and 5 free “super likes.” Tinder has found that when you super like someone, your conversation has a 70% chance of lasting longer. Hinge has an upgrade called Hinge Preferred, which costs $39.99 for three months. With it, you get to see who likes you (a great tool to help you narrow your strategy) and unlimited likes.
Dating Apps Will Save You Time and MoneyTime and money are two things people always want more of — and dating apps will give more of these back to you. When you use apps, you can narrow your search down to women with very specific qualities. This helps because you potentially won’t waste time or money on a bad date. In fact, let’s just take a look at the cost of a typical bad date for a second: Uber ride to your local bar = $153 drinks for you = $244 drinks for her (she lapped you… does she have a drinking problem?) = $32Uber ride home = $15Snack on the way home (you made a pitstop to drown your sorrows in chili fries) = $12Hangover = PricelessPoorly chosen dates are frustrating AND expensive. The above situation would have costed you $98 plus a hangover. Let the apps weed out all those bad apples!You Don’t Have to Be an Extrovert to Succeed Dating apps are perfect for guys who aren’t interested in being the loudest, most obnoxious guy in the bar to get a woman’s attention. There’s no need to become something you’re not in order to find the woman of your dreams.And the best part is, you can find her from the comfort of your own home. All it takes is a solid strategy and perhaps some expert guidance (*cough*) and you can enjoy even more success than the extroverted guys who seem to get all the women. Potential Downsides of Dating AppsAs promised, I’ll be honest with you about the negatives when it comes to dating apps. But they really aren’t that bad, and can be minimized if you know the right approach. Here are a few of them.They’re Designed to Keep You Using Them ForeverLet’s be clear about something: Dating apps aren’t designed to find you a partner. They’re designed to make money. These are businesses, after all. The perfect user to them is actually someone who never finds a partner, because those are the ones who will keep using the app and paying for its premium memberships. That’s why strategy is important when you use these. Hopping onto a dating app without a strategy is basically like dangling raw meat in front of a lion. It just might eat you alive.To make sure you don’t get sucked in for all time, try to have some idea of the following:Exactly what type of woman you’re looking forThe most efficient way to identify herHow you will make yourself appeal to herTrust me, you’ll be much better off.
Dating App Popularity Changes by Region Part of making a strategy work with dating apps is choosing the right apps to be on. Unfortunately, this can vary depending on where you live, but here’s a chart that can help you. You’ll see that Tinder dominates in a lot of states, but not everywhere. Depending on your state, Match might be your best bet. Or, if you’re in a state like Oregon or Missouri, you should actually be on Bumble. So, be sure to consider your location.Dating Apps Can Be AddictingToday you might ask “should I try a dating app?” But once you do, you might find yourself addicted. Happens to the best of us. Pay close attention if you spend hours and hours on the app, have lowered your standards, and/or have never been on a real, live date from it. These signs mean you’re being sucked into a black hole, my friend.Instead, log into your dating apps just once or twice a day. Also, set a swiping/liking goal. For example, you can do 100 swipes per day across Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Facebook Dating. Conclusion: Should I Try a Dating App?I’ve said this already but it’s worth repeating: Dating apps should simply be used as a tool to meet women. There’s nothing inherently bad about them, so don’t be afraid to give them a try. That being said, dating apps shouldn’t be your only tool in your arsenal. It may be the digital age, but people skills still count for something — so if you have them, use them! You should still segment time to attend social events that matter to you, join a biking or hiking club, and spend time with friends who may have single women they could introduce you to. All of these offline strategies also work, and combining different types of tools and strategies will give you a better shot at finding that special woman.Of course, if any of this sounds like too much work or effort, you can always reach out to me. Think of a dating coach as an accelerator — what would take you months (if not years) to learn about how to appeal to women will be revealed to you from the start.I can tell you exactly how you may be sabotaging your chances as well as what to showcase about yourself to attract the woman you’re looking for. My three-month Signature program has helped many men do this, and it can work for you, too. Book an intro session with me today to learn more.