If Shakespeare were a 21st-century single man, he’d woo his women via text.
As Americans have shifted away from letter writing and then calling, texting has become the preferred medium of lovebirds everywhere.
It’s texts that we answer at 1 a.m. and after a first date or while on the toilet, while in the park, and yes if you’re that guy, even at the movie theater.
The ubiquitous acceptance of text messages as the preferred conversational medium requires that we all know how to pen a quality text message. But for some people, courting a woman through text is just a bit odd.
In this article we’ll breakdown 50 texts that will make her want you. We’ll explore why each text works and show you how to construct awesome texts of your own.
It’s time to crack those knuckles and get to texting.
Texts That Make Her Want You
As a rule of thumb, texts should almost always work towards creating feelings of comfort, raising your value, or building a bond. This means that explicitly sexual texts are almost always a no-go.
Never text her asking if she’s “DTF” or anything that comments on her looks. Especially during the early stages of a relationship, each text should be the antithesis of creepy. One wrong misstep in a fledgling relationship could result in being ghosted.
1. Hey Kelly. It’s Spencer, that dapper and handsome man from Tinder… your words not mine.
Right after you’ve secured her phone number from a dating app, it’s best to shoot her a quick message before segueing into a TDL. Make sure the first message is light and won’t spark an in-depth conversation. The point of texting her like this is simply to ensure that you have the right phone number.
2. It was great talking to you at Steve’s party, I honestly can’t wait to take you out. -Stephen
If you got her number outside of a dating app, shoot her a text reiterating how great of a time you had with her. Being transparent with your emotions -without coming off too strong– encourages her to do the same and help accelerate the forming of a bond.
3. Sam! You, me, biking this Saturday at 1 at Glen Canyon Park… you in?
Women deserve being asked out on concrete dates. A concrete date idea is one that’s been finely chiseled and refined enough to the point where she can envision doing it with you. The opposite of a TDL is, “hey wanna go out sometime?” She might say yes to the latter, but that doesn’t mean she’ll ever actually go on a date with you. Use a TDL whenever asking a woman out. Creating a compelling TDL is definitely a text that makes her want you.
4. I’m feeling nostalgic for bowling and could use a companion. Are you free this Sunday at 12 to play at Lucky Strike?
The time, date, and location have all be clearly defined. 12 p.m., this Sunday, at Lucky Strike. This isn’t some nebulous date idea that she can’t wrap her mind around. Asking a woman out with a TDL shows her that you put effort into creating an awesome date idea. She’ll take note of your effort and most likely will respond in the affirmative.
5. Since we’re both training for a 10k, why don’t we go for a run on the Golden Gate Bridge this Saturday at 11 a.m.?
The date activity should be one that both of you are into. It doesn’t matter if running isn’t a standard first date, it’s what you two are into and it adheres to the MegaDating guidelines. Commonality texts like this will slowly make her want you in more a physical way.
6. I just pumped up my tires and am ready to go biking tomorrow. See you there!
Before the day of the date, shoot her a text to confirm that you two are still on.
7. I’m not going to lie, I just spent the last 20 minutes watching bowling videos on YouTube. Clearly I’m going to win our bowling match tomorrow.
This text is both slightly cocky and shows her that you’re excited to see her tomorrow. It also works to confirm that date.
8. I just checked the weather and it looks like the SF gods have blessed us with a clear day. See you at the GG Bridge tomorrow!
Nothing fancy here, just a man wanting to make sure that his date is reminded of the awesome running date they have planned for tomorrow.
9. I must say, I truly underestimate your pace. Round two next Tuesday at 7?
A TDL should be made as soon as one date ends. If you didn’t ask her out in person you must do so via text. Use a TDL for the first three dates.
10. I think it’s fair to say I think I just found my new bowling partner. That being said, care to change things up and shoot billiards after work this Thursday at 6 at Eastside Billiards? You keep saying you’d kick my ass at pool… you ready to walk the walk?
If you’re dating according to MegaDating rules, you only spent around 1 hour with her on your first date. While it’s not a lot of time it should be enough to have learned more about her. Use what you’ve learned to craft a compelling second date TDL.
11. I just heard the new Tame Impala song and thought of you… see you Tuesday!
You never want to get sucked into a convo via text, especially not early on in a relationship. Doing so will kill what little mystery you’ve been able to generate and leave you bereft of things to talk about when on the actual date. A little message like this will create a positive association and will remind her of the date to come.
12. I’m so sorry to do this Stacey, but I’m going to have to cancel our date. My ego has shattered into a million pieces after getting my butt kicked in bowling and I still need time to pick up all the pieces… just kidding, you’re going down tomorrow!
Playfully reminding her that you’re going to exact your revenge is the perfect way to set the tone for a flirty and competitive date.
13. Huzzah! Haim is coming to town this Saturday at The Fritz. Care to boogie down with me?
Again, TDLs should be used on first, second, and third dates.
14. I’m feeling fancy, care to get ritzy with me this Saturday at Oriole and then go salsa dancing after?
Third dates should be planned near your house, take place at night, and ideally are fancy. It’s on a third date that you can reasonably expect to have intercourse.
15. Are you ready to hit the dancefloor tomorrow?
It doesn’t matter if it’s the first, second, or third date, you should always check in with a woman before a date takes place.
16. Hey, next time I see you can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
At this stage of the relationship, you two have already been intimate. Only send this text if you’re confident things are heating up and that you’re headed towards a serious relationship.
17. …I can’t sleep. Can you just send me some audios of you reading me a bedtime story?
This shows that you’re thinking of her late at night. Sure it’s dorky but also cute.
18. Sorry I didn’t let you kiss me, I never kiss on a first date.
Only message this if you’re sure of your dynamic. Swapping gender roles could be a funny and accelerate your bond.
19. I should just tell you now that I don’t send unsolicited dick pics. I do however send unsolicited duck pics.
A little humor can go a long way… or at least longer than dick pics can. This is a solid message for the sub 25 year olds reading this article.
20. So I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I’m like really good at opening jars. If you need a jar opened, day or night I’m your man.
She won’t want to explicitly ask the man she just started seeing over for sex. Your cute line here allows her to veil her true intentions.
21. Umm… just so you know, we’re hanging out tonight.
Once you’ve had your three dates and are aware of the dynamic, you can allow yourself to send more risque texts such as this one that’ll make her want you in just a few short hours.
22. My dog wanted you to know that he misses you.
This one’s perfect for a relationship that is serious or is on a path towards monogamy.
23. Would you rather get stuck in an elevator with a clown for 24 hours or go on a quick getaway with me this weekend?
Planning on taking your relationship to the next level? This text will help you do just that.
24. I don’t have anything interesting to say… I just really like talking to you.
A little midday reminder that she’s awesome during the early stages of your relationship is always a good call. Don’t send this message until you’re monogamous.
25. I have the third (and best) season of The Office all cued up but no one to snuggle with… do you know anyone that can help me out with that?
This is the perfect pre-relationship text. I mean who doesn’t want an Office snuggle buddy?
26. Is it weird that I ate tacos today with a fork and knife because my hands still smelled like you and I didn’t want to get rid of your scent. On an unrelated note, I should probably wash my hands more often.
Self-effacing humor is a great way to let your guard down, show her you care, and are willing to be the butt of a joke. Careful though, this is the type of text that one should only send after the relationship is in full swing.
27. My phone’s battery is on 2% right now, but I thought I’d use the last of its energy to check in to make sure you made it home safe.
Really though if she’s taking public transportation home late at night, it’s always a good idea to check it. Letting her know that your deciding to use the last bit of phone juice you have to do that isn’t a bad way to signal your interest either.
28. We’re gonna switch traditional gender roles for our upcoming date. And no, I don’t mean I’ll be wearing a dress to our next date, rather it’s on you to wine and dine me and choose the date idea.
Change things up man. If you’re not willing to throw in a curveball every once in a while she’ll find someone else who will. Always keep things fresh.
29. I have a map of Connecticut in my room. I also have a bunch of darts. What say you come over, throw a dart at the map and that’s where we’ll spend a weekend vaca this weekend?
This is a killer date idea. And I don’t mean killer in the sense that she just has really bad aim and may use your neck as a target.
30. Why does it feel like Starbucks is conspiring against me and is only playing songs that remind me of you. Are you in on this?
You could just text her, “I’m thinking of you,” but that’s lame as hell and nearly merits a breakup.
31. So I “accidentally” happened upon a speakeasy where you gain entry by telling a deep and dark secret… I just found our next date spot.
It’s so on. Passwords, speakeasy, and secrets. That’s every woman’s dream combination.
32. Flirting with you via text is cool and all, but it makes it super hard to lean in and kiss you.
This the perfect segue into planning your next date.
33. Dude we can’t hang out tomorrow. My cheeks need a break.
Even those cheek muscles need a break every now and again.
34. I was just thinking about how you’re the only thing I need… also ice cream… wait should we get ice cream right now?
Sometimes three isn’t a crowd.
35. Will you be my brunch bae? I could use a mimosa and my lady.
Fact: No woman will ever turn down bottomless mimosas.
36. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad no one’s dying anymore or anything but… I kind of miss COVID quarantining with you.
Now that’s true love right there.
37. Remember that time we completed one jigsaw puzzle a day for an entire week? I kinda miss those days.
Randomly messaging to say that you’re nostalgic for bygone days is certainly a text that will make her want you.
38. Being with Becka’s been freakin’ awesome, she’s wicked smart, sexy, and I’m so grateful that she chose me.
“Mistakenly” send this to your girlfriend. She’ll glow knowing that you’re boasting about her to your friends.
39. You make my soul happy.
From my soul to another, you’re awesome. Sure it’s cheesy, but it’s also true.
40. Nope… I arrived without you.
When she asks you if you got home safely, respond by telling her that you’re missing that someone special.
10 Texts That Will Make Her Not Want You
So far we’ve supplied you with 40 texts that make her want you. To best understand what is and isn’t a worthy text we’d be remiss if we didn’t illuminate which messages are at the other end of the texting spectrum.
41. You’re sexy.
At not stage of your relationship should you slip her a salacious and out of the blue, “you’re sexy” message. As a rule of thumb, messages that contain less than 2 words in them should not be sent.
42. My life has been brighter since we met.
Not all texts are bad texts for all people. For example, a 13-year-old who’s just fallen in love for the first time can be forgiven for sending out a cliche line such as this one. But a woman that’s in her 30s is deserving of a bit more originality and eloquence.
43. I miss you every second I’m not with you.
Not only is it cliche but it’s kind of pathetic. Sure we might all feel this way for a limited time during the honeymoon stage of the relationship, but if this feeling isn’t 100% reciprocated, you’ll come off as a bit of a creep.
44. You’re my angel.
Again, one-off messages that contain no more than 3 words aren’t worthy. Keep your finger off that send button.
45. You are my life.
If this is the case you might consider getting some friends, or MegaDating. It’s great and all that you love this woman but relying on any one person for all your social and emotional needs is dangerous.
46. You truly take my breath away.
Even in the midst of an emotive text exchange, this is an emotion best held on to and expressed in person.
47. Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favorite one.
Only while having an elaborate conversation about her body can this text be slipped in. It’s over the top dorky and ideally is read with the understanding that it’s over the top emotionally.
48. I hope your day is as beautiful as you are.
There are just some sentimental lines that aren’t meant to be crossed.
49. I’ll dream of you if you dream of me… deal?
How about you just message to hang out with her tomorrow, in person, like a normal male in heat.
50. I woke up in the middle of the night just to sext you.
Umm… what? She doesn’t want to be woken up in the middle of the night to fulfill your sexual desires. Save the lovemaking for the real world.
Conclusion: Texts that Make Her Want You
Penning texts that make her want you sometimes requires writing two or three drafts before creating the perfect text. If you’re having trouble with texting, creating a killer first date, have goals this year like getting into a relationship in 90 days, feel free and book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom Strategy Session with yours truly.
During our intro session we’ll discuss your dating roadblocks and goals, create a strategy, and see if my 3 month coaching program is right for you.
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